Florida is just biding its time

I believe that Florida is just biding its time before it reclaims its own. Who are we kidding? We live in a wilderness and our toehold is weak. If hurricanes don't flood us and destroy our houses, then tornadoes rip them apart anyway, or if all else fails, a sinkhole could always open up and swallow you into the ground. And then there's the swamps--or should I say, "swamp" singular, because nearly the entire state is one. I am actually rather fond of swamps--the drapes of Spanish moss, the black water, the sense of stillness--but I can't say the same for some of its denizens. First, there are the mosquitoes. I don't believe they need further explanation, except to add that oh, they on occasion carry the West Nile virus. Scorpions, too--we used to find them in our house. Then, there are the several species of venomous snakes...cottonmouths, copperheads, rattlesnakes, our friend the coral snake... And last but not least, the king of the swamp: the alligator. Like their habitat, I do have a soft spot for alligators. They were my backyard pets growing up. Luckily for me, they always ran in the opposite direction whenever I tried to play with them. Though I probably wouldn't have been so fortunate if I were say, a small dog.

Let us not forget the ocean, surrounding us on three sides. Breathtakingly beautiful and bathwater warm, what could be the problem? Besides the lovely potential to be swallowed by the ocean if global warming continues, there is the fact that while we bathe in those pristine waters, we have ceased to be at the top of the food chain. Sharks. Not quite Jaws down here, but every so often a bull shark or tiger shark gets a little frisky and decides it wants manflesh for lunch instead of boring old tuna. And while stingrays aren't quite as deadly, getting stung can make you wish you'd never been born. Same goes for the jellyfish and man o' wars, of course.

So basically, no matter where you go in Florida you're threatened by either dangerous animals or impending natural disaster.