9. biking 3 miles and almost fainting (when you could bike 13 in Houston and not blink)
8. dreadlocked 20- and 30-somethings far outnumbering all other minority groups
7. "Old Faithful," the unreliable geyser, Calistoga's natural wonder of the world
6. the only place to go out in Calistoga is the Inn, which closes at 12am. after that, you go to Suzie's. but chances are, if you're going to Suzie's, you should actually be going home.
5. even the dinkiest gas stations sell American Spirits
4. 75% of the conversations you overhear are about growing a) grapes or b) pot
3. not dying while driving home drunk 3+ times a week on what has to be America's most dangerous road (barely 2 lanes, precipice on either side, steep, slick, hairpin curves spanning two valleys...)
2. potato bugs
1. gallon-sized ziploc bags full of pot. for free. because they like you. and because, you know, it grows on trees there.
